Hello lovlies! I am sitting on my patio with my dear friend Alex right now to write this one for you. She recently wrote a blog for me on her story of eating disorder recovery [check it out on the page under "my friends"] and is back now to help me explain this post! Now not every eating disorder presents in the same way, so maybe you are someone in recovery who experiences none of these signs, but these are some we had in common and wanted to share how we recognize and overcome falling back into old, comforting patterns! [ED = eating disorder or as I call it Ed]
As a side note: we both suffered from anorexia nervosa and so this post will be a little more from that perspective than other eating disorders because its what we are familiar with.
Lets get to it:
1. Feel the need to eat healthy all the time/ criticize your diet
So both of us are fairly critical of ourselves - ya know the classic first born type A personality - so having to sort through and reason with our thoughts is not uncommon. Using God's word as our guide for truth we can sort through what is lies and what is fact - on most days. The warning sign is when those thoughts become progressively more focused on our food intake. Instead of being concerned about balance and overall health, these intrusive thoughts can easily morph into feeling a NEED to be healthy constantly. Without using coping mechanisms to alter this line of thinking every meal becomes criticized and every indulgence becomes a source of guilt. So how do we stop it? The first thing we would suggest is taking the thought captive - don't just ignore it but address it. This includes using little nuggets of information you have learned through in our case science, inpatient classes, personal research, and other's experiences. Remember, food is fuel and is not moral - there is no good or bad. All of it together forms a balanced diet and is meant to be enjoyed. Easier said than done - but even if you need to stop and do a little digging in that moment in God's word and science it can be very helpful to combat what your mind is telling you with fact.
2. Avoiding certain foods/thoughts of avoiding certain foods
I find this one happening a lot without me even realizing at first, and then I will have a thought pop into my head to skip a meal - and be like HOLD UP WHAT? and recognize I had been doing it for weeks. This definitely ties into your challenge or fear foods in ignoring them as a problem rather than facing them. The main advice we have here? Eat. Oof - ya I know that one is horrible to hear but in this case it is true. You have to ignore what ED is saying and just do it - as Alex said - if ED is happy and content you probably need to choose the other option. As hard as it
is, the challenges and going against your mind are the only way to recover. For both of us having a schedule or standard of how many challenges we do weekly or daily has really helped keep us accountable to choosing recovery rather than being content in quasi recovery. One thing I have started doing is incorporating a small thing of sweets into my diet daily - this way I am challenging ED on a small scale every day with larger challenges thrown in sporadically throughout the week. Kinda helps keep him in check.
3. Obsessive thoughts about exercise
This is a tough one - both of us LOVE being active but honestly sometimes ED and exercise just don't mix. With recovery we both have felt the need to exercise daily for hours becoming less but when relapse happens those little intrusive thoughts start ramping back up. What does this look like? Feeling guilty for taking a rest day or just not wanting to be active. Getting jealous or panicky when others go on a walk and you haven't done anything. Or maybe your workouts per week start slowly increasing.
Ok - now what? Another one word but incredibly, InCRedIBLy, INCREDIBLY hard one word answer - rest. Now we both know how painful this is because we used to work ourselves to death but when we were in inpatient and couldn't move it was almost relieving - we were given permission to relax. So one thing I have found useful is I got together with my parents, best friend, and boyfriend and we came up with a list of things that I had to do weekly [its on my insta blog page!]. One of these was they TOLD ME I could only workout 4 times a week for 30 minutes. And while eventually I want to get to the point where I can do what I need based on my body signals [which I am learning to do now] this was super helpful in getting me back on track because it wasn't me my mind had to argue with but them.
4. Comparing to others/ Body checks
This one is HUGE - and we don't just mean comparing how you look to others. This disorder compares EVERYTHING - what people eat, what they look like, how much they work out - and it can lead to things like body checking which includes looking in the mirror, pinching, and things along those lines. And its hard to avoid because this is so prevalent in society. Sometimes to handle this - if there is someone in your life that is exhibiting bad habits and harmful behaviors - you may have to set some boundaries for a while until you are back on your feet. It may require avoiding social media for a bit - like a small social media fast. Or I have even heard of people who removed their mirrors from their room - might seem extreme, but when you are dealing with a life or death illness there is no such thing.
Now when it comes to eating more and dealing with having to recover while watching other people consume normal amounts and exercise when they want Alex's mom had some good advice: Just remember you are suffering from an illness. If someone had cancer and was getting chemo treatment they are not going to expect someone who doesn't have cancer to get infusions with them to make them feel better - why? because they aren't sick. In the same way we shouldn't expect others to eat and have to control exercise the way we do because that is our treatment and as they are not sick it is not something they must do to recover.
5. Ignoring body signals
I feel like I keep saying every one is a hard one - BUT man recovery is hard. For us, we
ignored our cues for so so long that it was
almost hard to remember what they felt like. I remember the first time I said I was hungry again my dad walked out of the room and cried. ITS A BIG DEAL and it is so easy to fall back into those habits. Its hard to give examples for this one because they are so different and extensive. For some this is skipping a meal, others its not resting when your body really wants it, it could be limiting and restricting intake from what your body is asking for [not listening to hunger] and we could go on and on. It truly is like catching up with an old friend when you start recovery- at first its just plain awkward and uncomfy but overtime you learn to recognize them again and it becomes more natural and you fall into an old routine [we are both still working on this one - so don't be discouraged if it doesn't come quickly. you are rebuilding your relationship with your body and relationships take time]. The key is to keep listening and obeying your body even when your mind [ED] is trying to get you to ignore it. God is brilliant in His design and gave our body ways to let us know what we need - these things aren't bad or dangerous even though it feels that way at times - but a gift from God to help protect and guide us!
These are just some of our thoughts - we could probably talk about this stuff for hours because it is something we are both so passionate about! But I hope this is a helpful start and if you have any questions never hesitate to reach out and ask!
Comments