God has really been laying this topic on my heart lately – the valleys.
Now don’t close your eyes but picture in your mind standing on top of a mountaintop, the whole word laid out in front of you and the clouds seemingly in reach. You feel the light, sweet breeze playfully moving your hair, the warm sun on your face… life is good.
Then you walk down the steep mountain and all of a sudden youre looking back up at the mountaintop – grateful for the experience but sad as you glance around realizing you are no longer on top of the world but back at the bottom.
I don’t know about you but this has been MY experience with faith.
Earlier this year I was on a mountaintop. I felt the Holy Spirit guiding my path through school and relationships, I felt anxiety and the grip of my eating disorder slipping away, God felt so incredibly close. He was my best friend.
And then…
It stopped. And to be quite honest it shocked me a bit. I was doing all the same things as before but now it felt like God had walked away… why?
So of course being an award winning overthinker I began to overanalyze the situation. Maybe I was not spending enough time with Him in daily devotions. Maybe I wasn’t praying enough. Maybe I was not worshipping correctly. Maybe I wasn’t doing this or that – and in my panic of losing that feeling of closeness I forgot God.
Now, no, I did not forget He existed. I was well aware of that. But I let my feelings become more powerful than His word.
The one that says He will never leave me or forsake me [Deuteronomy 6:8]. The one that says I do not have to work for my salvation [Ephesians 2:8]. The one that He loved me even as a sinner who neglected His presence [Romans 5:8]. The one that says He loves me deeply [Ephesians 3:18-19].
See when you start on your Christian journey you are not promised ease and comfort. There WILL be mountaintops and there WILL be valleys. It is your job to remember that God is the same God in each and that He has a purpose for each. While the mountaintops of faith are incredible, the valleys are quite beautiful as well. The distance or pain felt brings so much of our nature to light and makes our need for God all the more evident in our lives.
I know for me right now this valley is showing me how important God is to me and how much I do want to dwell with Him and be near Him for eternity.
But it is also showing me that I do have a mindset that does feel to an extent that if I do not live the Christian life correctly God will distance Himself from me. But it has never been about the works or lifestyle. YES – and hear me on this – if you are a Christian your life should be transformed and should look different from the world as you love God and want to follow His word and example. BUT that does not mean you will not mess up, stumble, fall, and have to find your way back. You are human, and Jesus knew this when He headed to the cross to die for us so that despite our failures and shortcomings we can still enjoy eternity with God.
So I want to encourage anyone in a valley – God has not left you. Let me say that again for you and me… GOD HAS NOT LEFT YOU. He is still there. He still hears your prayers. He is still guiding your steps. You may not feel it at times but His word says it and His word is truth. I also want to encourage you to look around and see what you can get from this season, maybe there is a lesson to be learned, or a relationship to be formed. There is a purpose – and maybe we will never know why a valley occurred, but God does and one day when you get to heaven you can ask Him…
I know I sure have a list of questions. For now, trusting God knows the answer and is faithful is enough, but I hope He is ready because when I step through those gates I’m gonna talk His ear off!
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