Dedicated to Shari, the most joyful soul I had the pleasure of knowing
It is November, and I am nearing the end of my second and final year of PA school. And, to be honest, more than joy I feel relief. These past two years I have pushed myself to the breaking point and have finally reached burnout.
For those of you who don’t know, burnout is a syndrome conceptualized as resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed. It is characterized by three dimensions: feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion, increased mental distance or feelings of negativism towards one’s job, and reduced professional efficacy.
It is very common in medicine, with 42% of physicians, 41% of PAs, 35% of Nurses and 50% of medical students experiencing this phenomenon. BUT it is avoidable.
Sorting through my burnout I really felt God calling me to think about success.
He showed me there are two perspectives:
1. the earthly perspective
2. the heavenly perspective
I have largely been pursuing the earthly perspective, as of late, which has lead to exhaustion and loss I did not necessarily need to experience if my focus had been on above.
A large emphasis in our culture is success – whether that be monetary, power, prestige.
Everyone wants the best and wants to BE the best. There has been a shift in our focus. People are putting off marriage and families to focus on their career. We are pushing ourselves harder than ever before – no longer taking personal days or sick days as we pursuit what America deems to be the source of fulfillment and happiness. Our dreams are of mansions, luxury cars, all-inclusive vacations, being leaders at young ages. And none of these things are in and of themselves bad. But the ever more prominent call of our culture to be busy and successful and "girl boss" has lead to declining mental health and burnout.
Yet, despite these stats, we continue to push ourselves as we cling to the hope that achieving these dreams and obtaining earthly pleasures will bring us happiness.
And while I know heaven is my eternal home and my earthly life is but a dot starting an infinite line, I have caught the bug of business and earthly success.
Do you have a resume? I do.
Had to create one for school. And it isn’t lacking.
Many of us have been building our resume
since high school. Signing up for clubs, charities, volunteering that looks good on college applications, grad school applications, and finally job applications. Our schedules are full of activities and experiences that will make us marketable and further our success. In high school I was part of student council, a volunteer club, captain of my soccer team. Throughout college I volunteered at a free clinic and worked in home health. I was treasurer for our pre-PA club, president of our college activity council, and participated in STEM. I was an honor student who performed and wrote my own research experiment on eating disorders. I finished my undergrad in 3 years top of my major and am graduating with my master’s at 23. I am married to a successful man. I have had the chance of traveling to almost every state and beyond the US. And I will soon enter a well-paying career.
By the world’s definition I have been successful and am on a good path.
But, in pursuing these things, I have also suffered anxiety, panic attacks, depression, an eating disorder and burnout. When I am focused on these things, and lose sight of my relationship with God, I am not fulfilled or content.
I do not FEEL successful.
Weird huh? Let me explain.
With all my contemplation of what success means to me, I realized that these earthly accolades, awards, and possessions mean nothing past however many years I am blessed with on this earth. Nothing I have accomplished or obtained will be taken with me into eternity, so I am wearing myself down for what?
I don’t want to be misunderstood here. I do think working hard and stewarding your gifts and talents wisely in this world is important. Even the Bible says to do all things as if you are doing them for the Lord – which to me means do it 100%. Yet, I think when these things become our definition of success that is when we get ourselves in trouble.
Hebrews 13:14 says: “For here we do not have an enduring city, but we are looking for the city that is to come.”
Matthew 6: 19-21 says: “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”
It is very easy to store up things on this earth. These things are:
tangible
visual
tactile
We get to enjoy them here and now.
But what will God say to you when you get to heaven?
Will you hear the words “well done my good and faithful servant?”
All of these thoughts have passed through my head daily as I entered my final months of school. Truths I believe God has been revealing to me since I stepped foot into the ODU halls for my PA degree.
Of course, I still want to accomplish things as a PA. I would love to do research and really advance my field. I want to keep volunteering and being a leader. God gave me gifts and resources in these areas and I intend to steward them wisely and well.
But with a different focus, a heavenly focus.
You don’t get to take much to heaven from this earth. But living for Christ here, you can build up treasure in heaven. Even more so, you can bring people with you.
So pursuing God’s life for me and taking as many people as I can with me to heaven is now my goal. In all I do, I want God’s name to be known, not my own. I may be able to help save people’s earthly bodies, but only God can save their soul and their eternity. I no longer want to be so focused on my resume that I miss all the experiences to be a light and show Christ to those around me daily. I don’t want to be so focused on my career and education that I fail to be a witness to those around me and my family.
I don’t want to only build my life here; I want to build a city in heaven.
I want to finish with this parable. A great reminder that you never know when you will draw your last breath on this earth. So, it is important to steward your gifts, your talents, your resources wisely. Use every moment to be a light, share God’s joy and love with every person you meet.
You never know. You might just save their life.
Luke 12: 16-21
“And he told them this parable: ‘The ground of a certain rich man yielded an abundant harvest. He thought to himself, what shall I do? I have no place to store my crops. Then he said, this is what I’ll do. I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones, and there I will store my surplus grain. And I’ll say to myself, you have plenty of grain laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink, and be merry. But God said to him, you fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself? This is how it will be with whoever stores up things for themselves but is not rich toward God.’”
So how are you going to live? Are you going to pursue the success of this world and build up treasures that will wither and wilt when you pass? Or will you steward your gifts well and keep your focus on eternity, living wisely on this earth while pursuing your life to come?
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