Staying consistent with recovery when life is anything but...
If I have learned one thing about life it is that the plot is entirely unpredictable and oftentimes in the moment feels a bit chaotic. If I have learned one thing about eating disorder recovery it is that consistency is key, and recovery happens when you consistently make choices that promote healing daily over time. So, these two things seem entirely contradictory - one requires sameness and the other never stays the same.
That is why today I am going to give you 5 tips for maintaining recovery when life gets especially... spicy:
1. Have a P L A N! By having a meal plan you know how many meals or snacks you need to have on any given day and what they need to be composed of to properly fuel your body. This plan can then act as a checklist on harder days to keep yourself accountable for reaching your goals. For example - a few weeks ago I drove cross country which can obviously make meals hard. However, I had a plan which allowed me to maintain my recovery: I packed snacks to allow me to listen to my hunger cues whenever they popped up, I ensured we stopped for three meals a day, and even challenged my comfortability in where we ate for each meal. It was the perfect tool for keeping myself on track while maintaining and even furthering my recovery.
2. Set up some G U A R D R A I L S! I like to think of recovery as a journey up a mountain and relapse as the drop-off. So, to keep myself from going over the edge – either accidentally or from getting too close – I have learned to set up guardrails a few feet from relapse to keep myself safe. To identify what guardrails, need to be set up I often think back to 1) what triggers have caused me to relapse before, and 2) what are the primary behaviors that define my eating disorder. For example, having anorexia I often skipped or restricted meals. While it is often “normal” to skip the occasional meal in the business of life I know that skipping a meal for me is a bit more dangerous. So, one of my guardrails is no skipped meals. I will eat them late, in odd places, and do what I need to do to get three meals a day. If I do skip, having this guardrail in place, I am often able to identify the danger and redirect before falling over the edge.
3. Find some A C C O U N T A B I L I T Y! I know this is commonly listed among my tips, but it is because having people on your recovery team is invaluable. I truly would not be where I am today in recovery if I did not have friends and family willing to hold me accountable to my goals and offer me support and encouragement when I began to doubt if recovery was possible. As I know change and chaos has historically been a trigger for relapse, I ensure to enlist the help of my husband over the month preceding and following something like our move. I ask that he helps watch my food intake and make me aware of any eating disorder behaviors – negative self-talk, obsessive exercise, or disordered eating habits – that he might notice. It is like adding a second layer of defense to any already existing strategies and can also be incredibly comforting.
4. Break out those C O P I N G S K I L L S & R E S O U R C E S! We often use our eating disorder as a coping mechanism for dealing with life’s worst. A wonderful way to start detaching yourself from ED is to find other coping skills and healthy resources that can act in the place of your eating disorder during these seasons. These may include anything from stretching and meditation, to evening walks with your dog, journaling, Bible study, deep breathing, talking to a therapist, and so much more. Personally daily time spent with God, walks with my pups, journaling, and talks with friends have been beneficial for me of late. In the past, however, I have loved watching TV or playing games during meals, listening to music, finding a therapist, and even starting low level anxiety meds to get me through particularly stressful periods of time. It is truly what works best for you to help you feel better and keep you away from ED.
5. Take some D E E P B R E A T H E S & P R A Y. Because even the most chaotic seasons in life will eventually come to an end. You’ve got this and God’s got you.
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