Body image is incredibly complex.
According to Anna Sweeney (MS, RD, LDN, CEDRD-S), this idea is processed in nine different regions of your brain. This means that body image will never be static and changes hundreds of times, even throughout one day. And as much as the science behind all of this fascinates my medical loving mind, I have also become quite saddened by some of the statistics I see surrounding this idea.
Through my research into eating disorder risk factors and behaviors I have found that the average age of the appearance of body image problems begins at the age of 6 years old. This means that cute, adorable children in kindergarten and first grade have already started criticizing themselves based on looks. And to know carefree, innocent children have begun to feel the pressures and notice this toxic culture so early is a problem. This early start predisposes many to life affected by an eating disorder, especially if other risk factors are encountered.
This dissatisfaction with body image is not only a risk factor but is a major part of eating disorder culture. While the illness may not always begin with the idea of losing weight or attaining a perfect shape, there is often a point where shame and guilt over one’s body appears. As always, I cannot speak for everyone as each disorder is fairly unique to the person suffering based on differing risk factors and life experiences. But, in the context of an eating disorder (but is very common in healthy individuals as well) what is often seen is something that has been termed body dysmorphic disorder. It goes beyond noticing appearance and into obsessions about these real or imagined flaws that interfere with daily life. Associated with constant negative thoughts regarding these “imperfections,” there is often emotional distress, isolation, and engagement in behaviors that are thought to eliminate, minimize, or hide the perceived flaw.
For me, the “flaw” I noticed was my weight and shape, and the obsessions followed. I had already fallen into my eating disorder patterns, however, many of these worsened when my focus shifted from food alone to food and image. I restricted more and exercised more. However, the important thing to note is that nothing I did, no behavior I tried, actually worked to make my body dysmorphia or eating disorder go away. There was no ideal I could actually reach that would satisfy either illness, leaving me trapped in a cycle of destructive and dangerous behaviors.
And honestly, I still struggle constantly with body image, especially now as I am trying to recover and am consciously opposing the ideas and behaviors of my disorder. So, how on earth can someone manage life and avoid isolating when they wake up feeling insecure and uncomfortable in their body?
Well I definitely haven’t figured out a cure, but I have found some pretty good coping mechanisms over the years that have helped me tackle days like today - the days where you just don’t feel great in your own skin:
First, I know waking up feeling disgusting or uncomfy in your body is the absolute WORST! It makes you want to avoid social interaction and just sit in bed all day in your pajamas. And as much as you feel the pull to cancel e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. don’t do it. Often times, getting up and getting into your routine will loosen those feelings and distract your mind. It also protects you from the more intense thoughts and influence your disorder seems to have when you are isolated from those who love you and want to help you.
Second, when you get ready for the day don’t just get into the first outfit you see. Take the time to find an outfit that often makes you feel confident…. sexy… or dare I say it.. BEAUTIFUL! This may mean jeans and a t-shirt some days, or a dress others, but put that cute thing on. Do your hair, put on a little makeup if that’s your thing, and add the accessories that just make you feel like a catch, because you are no matter what ED is trying to tell you today.
No sad music or media consumption. Get that stuff outta here. Instead, put on something upbeat that makes you feel like an absolute boss. Something that causes you to dance around your bathroom and sing into your hairbrush. It will help with creating positive energy surrounding the day and dancing is a therapy in and of itself! Belt out those words about being absolutely gorgeous, even if you may not feel it in the morning.
This one is very important: eat. Just because you may feel a bit bigger, or a bit more uncomfortable, or a bit further away from what you think is the ideal your body needs food. And maybe this means you think of calories as energy (which is actually what it is :) ) or watch a movie while you eat, or use one of your mindfulness techniques. But, never forget on these days that eating is not a luxury for the days where you are "skinny enough," it is a necessity and basic right for life!
Positive self talk… this one has always been super hard for me. Even this morning when I was asked to just look at myself and say I was beautiful it felt as if the words got stuck in my throat. My mind just kept telling me it was a lie… but I should’ve remembered that ED does NOTHING but tell lies. So, on days like today we have to fight back against that constant stream of negativity in our heads. Scream in your car how freaking beautiful you are! Look in the mirror and hype yourself up! Remind yourself that you’re a hot, sexy, attractive person and own your body! Because it may feel weird coming from your mouth…but it’s also true. No matter how you think you look, what you’re wearing, or what your disorder is telling you, you are absolutely stunning and don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.
Finally, as always, pull open the Bible. Because even if you can’t decide whether you want to believe what other people are telling you, or what your head is telling you, God is always telling the truth so you can trust Him.
Ephesians 2:10 “For we are GOD’S handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”
Genesis 1:27 “So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.”
Psalm 139:14 “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
Song of Songs 4:7 “You are altogether beautiful my darling; there is no flaw in you.”
I hope you find these suggestions help you if you are struggling with your appearance or just
having a not so good day… and if anything remember this:
Our best body shape and weight is not the one where you look like the edited girls in the magazine or on television (even though I know its hard to think otherwise). Our best body weight is the one where you can go get ice cream with friends without thinking about calories or wondering how you will burn them off. It is the one where you can laugh with friends late at night as you watch funny movies and chuck popcorn at each other. It’s the weight where you can enjoy the little things in life and just live in the moment. You cannot live a full life on an empty stomach. You won’t have the energy, the mind-space, or the desire. So as hard as it is, keep fighting my love, on the good days and the bad because one day you will fall in love with your body the way it is and fully realize just how beautiful you are.
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