Have you ever taken a minute to think about your brain?
You know… that big squishy blob of pink that is in your brain and firing signals along its vast maze of neurons at a rate that – if you think about it – may actually make your brain hurt?
You don’t give much thought to it do you [I mean now you are cuz I told you to BUUUTTTT…] and yet it is constantly working to keep you alive. It is deeply and intimately involved with every aspect of your life. It regulates your balance and fine motor skills within the cerebellum allowing you to walk without tipping over like a toddler whose feet tend to follow their head. It tells your heart to beat consuming and releasing blood into tiny pathways throughout your body, and causes the slow but constant influx of oxygen into your lungs where a very important exchange happens before you exhale. It is allowing you to read and comprehend language, allowing you to speak via the wernicke and broca’s area.
Anyways… the point of all that science speak is to BASICALLY say that your brain is involved in everything that you do?
But
You
Never
Think
About
It
So why am I bringing this up other than the fact that I may be the biggest nerd on the planet?
It reminds me of a lesson God has been teaching me lately – one I know I have touched on with you before but has been weighing on my heart.
There are times when I feel God so tangibly that it is impossible to forget about Him. I like to call these mountain top moments when the world just looks more beautiful and the sun seems a little brighter and a little more reachable. In these times I am overjoyed to read my Bible, I pray on a non-stop basis – you know that verse pray without ceasing [1 Thessalonians 5:17]– ya that’s me. And there is no end to my desire to help others, spread love and encouragement, and scream God’s name from the heights. It is beautiful.
Then there are times that I don’t feel God and it is hard to remember he is there. I like to call these valley moments where the world feels darker and more dim, the sun seems out of reach, and each day feels a bit longer and a bit more frustrating. In these times I have to make a conscious effort to read my Bible and pray. I have to stop myself from rolling my eyes when a bus makes a 6thstop in my neighborhood when I am running late, and simply try to make it to bedtime because God feels like he has left me and the distance is miserable. It is hard.
So what is the difference?
Well, originally I would point out the glaring factor that in one season God’s presence is there and one it doesn’t seem to be. One, he is more involved and filling me with his peace and the other he is stepping back and letting me do things on his own.
But in reality. There is no difference.
God is not human. He doesn’t have days when he is all in and days he would rather not associate with you. He is the same God yesterday, the same God today, and the same God tomorrow. He never leaves – and that is a promise [Deuteronomy 31:8].
So what has God been teaching me exactly? Even though I cannot feel His presence He is there. Which means, I can have the same joy, same peace, same comfort in the valley as I do on the mountaintop – as long as I can get over the fact that my feelings aren’t God. God is God and His word is truth. Yes, feeling distant from God is not fun and can be challenging. It is easy as humans to assume he has left you because he got bored, or frustrated, or upset, or angered by our many blunders. But like your brain, just because you cannot feel it or see it – it is always there and it is always working to keep you going.
A good example [slightly to my detriment] – would be this morning:
I woke up at 5:30am like I always do [like a crazy lady I have been told] and proceeded to review my notes. I then flipped on some Netflix while I mindlessly went through my morning routine. However, about 20min in I realized I would be late due to a series of unfortunate events. So at 7:20 – twenty minutes later than I would like – I hopped into my car. I then got stuck behind a bus all the way to the front of my campus that also happened to be turning left meaning I had to wait an entire life cycle for it to move out of my way. Tears as I realized my 8am exam deadline was starting to approach quickly. At this point I was already praying for patience because I knew it was going to be a long day. Which I was right as I proceeded to hit EVERY SINGLE RED LIGHT on the way down Polaris. Arriving to campus with ten minutes to spare and barely making it to class in time to settle in and just breathe and send a few emails.
Kinda an annoying morning am I right?
Ya well what I didn’t tell you is on my way in I passed a new car wreck – cops not even on the scene- right in the lane I always take to get to my exit. Right on my daily path. And maybe not, but who knows if I would have been on time that may have been me.
You get what I am saying? God feels absent in my life right now. But through quiet and whispered conversations I can tell he is speaking to my heart and teaching me to rest knowing he is present no matter what my human body and mind perceives. He is still working for my good, working to keep me safe, and his work is evident in my life.
Maybe you have been in this place before where it feels like God is absent. But He is not. He is right there, still walking with you just like He always is.
The question is… are you going to let your feelings be God? Or are you going to let God be God?
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