i can't keep calm... i have anxiety
- alissamast
- Jan 3, 2021
- 9 min read
Updated: Aug 2, 2023
anxiety: this is TOO much!!!!!!!!!!!!
me: *completely lost* umm…. What is too much?
anxiety: THIS
me: homie… I am literally sitting at home doing nothing. My only obligation this evening is to take out the trash. School went well today. What exactly is the problem??
anxiety: EVERYTHING IS HAPPENING ALL AT ONCE WE MUST PANIC
me: but nothing is happening…?
anxiety: TOO MUCH!
Ok ok… now that we have had a small laugh and got through a bit of the uncomfy…let’s get to the real stuff. The behind the scenes stuff that is messy and embarrassing and what this blog is all about – VULNERABILITY!
So what is anxiety like? Well its different for everyone but for me this is a more realistic scenario:
It’s a quiet day… my peaceful guitar music is quietly playing in the background with shifting pictures of far-off places where I would rather be than doing my homework. My colored pens are sprawled out on the table beside me, and a colorful organized chaos of information is on the paper in front of me. I have 40 slides left and three hours… perfect timing for a quick devo and early bedtime. But then it starts… that familiar fuzziness in my brain. CRAP. Why is this happening? I go through my list of to do’s for the day… well I already reviewed all my old notes, completed my workout, attended all my classes… this is the last thing on my list. So why… what is triggering this????? Soon my leg won’t stop bouncing, my chest is tight, and I am a mess of tears… and if it’s really bad I am soon curled up in a ball, hands pressed to my head begging God to make it stop, lying on my bed unable to move… so much for getting everything done!
Now, I haven’t always had anxiety to this degree. Mine truly began to be a problem when I reached my senior year of high school and my eating disorder developed.
The problem with anxiety is that the cause is not simple and straightforward, instead there are usually several factors that contribute to anxiety. There are genes and altered anatomy that predispose someone to anxious thoughts and feelings. There are past experiences or other aspects of daily living that can act as triggers. And luckily, with the fast-growing pace of medicine and science there are therapies and medications that can help manage these things. But there is another aspect to this as well, and it is a spiritual aspect.
Now I am not sure how what follows relates to the mental disorder of anxiety, because it is different in my mind from daily worry outside of the physiologic changes in the body that cause an anxiety disorder. So, I am going to let you determine how you feel this relates to that aspect of anxiety and I am going to speak to the worry and anxiety everyone feels at one point or another that can become, at times, debilitating and cause such a loss of productivity that it is devastating. I also want to make it clear that these are not my original ideas – instead this is something I was seeking answers on and found some amazing resources and concepts in a book by John MacArthur called anxious for nothing (i'm right there with you)!
Alright so I am going to open with a really strong statement that I have wrestled with for years now as someone fighting anxiety daily: anxiety is a sin. Period. (keep reading please!!!)
Now that is humbling for me because that means I am blatantly sinning several hundred times a day because not only am I an anxious soul but an AMAZINGLY good overthinker
Ok before you stop reading let me explain – cuz I had trouble with this too! The book, and for good reason, calls anxiety is a sin because it violates a clear biblical command spoken by Jesus himself.
Matthew 6:25 – “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life….”
Matthew 6:31 – “So do not worry…”
Matthew 6:34 – “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow…”
And Paul in Philippians 4:6 says “Be anxious for nothing.”
And when we let our concerns turn to worry, and our focus on the present shift to focus on changing the future we become very lost and unproductive. Why? We have shifted our focus from Jesus to the chaos around us and have forgotten that the one who controls the chaos stands in front of us.
As someone in the medical field I have to say, that I think medicine is a great way to help manage anxiety, but as a Christian I also know that you need to combine that with Jesus because He is the ultimate answer. And for the rest of this blog-post I want to show and explain what the book revealed to me about this!
First, how can we trust Jesus to be the answer? Because not only does Jesus have peace… but He is peace!
Ephesians 2:14-15 “For He Himself is our peace, who has made the two groups one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility by setting aside in His flesh the law with its commands and regulations.”
2 Thessalonians 3:16 “Now may the Lord of peace Himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you.”
And what better place to find peace than in the one who is exactly what you are looking for?
Alright so if Jesus is the source how do we learn to give up anxiety and receive the peace of Christ?
1. Prayer – a way to directly communicate with God and present requests to Him
2. The Word – a way for God to speak directly to you by His inspired words
Ok so what does the Word say? Anxiety is from a lack of faith (ouch there it is again)– and let me tell you 2020 revealed to me that I am one of little faith when I thought mine was pretty strong. Luckily God can take even a little faith – as tiny as a mustard seed – and use it in pretty incredible ways.
Anyways… here are some ways we can work towards release from anxiety:
1. When you are anxious you are focusing on things of the world, but God’s desire for His children is not about preoccupation with worldly things but with heavenly things:
Colossians 3:2 “Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth.”
We are not earthly people. This is not our home and our goal should not be to store up accolades on this earth (which I focus on far too often). No, our focus should be a heavenly focus – treasures in heaven & making heaven full – and when we do that earthly things seem less worthy of worry. When you’re comparing A’s to salvation that determines your eternal life in heaven vs. hell… the importance of the A gets put into perspective. It’s not worth the worry. We need to change our thinking! This is done by focusing on what is pure, true, noble, right, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy (Philippians 4:8), and by meditating on God’s word day and night. Soon enough, our heavenly focus will be a habit that replaces our earthly focus and we will be able to better differentiate what is worth our precious worry.
2. Ok, so we need to think about heavenly things, what else? We need to realize that we cannot control everything anyways… we can work as hard as we can, but the results are not up to us and there is absolutely nothing we can do to change that. BUT that does not mean that we need to spiral into panic and worry because “everything is already under control by Someone far greater than you and I.”
God did not create and then abandon the world. God is still actively engaged in our lives and in the bigger picture through miracles and providence. He has it all under control and we can be confident and content in this (which is way hard).
But – be aware of this – just because we have no control and can have confidence in God, it does not mean we should adopt an attitude of indifference and apathy towards life. And the book worded it so well: “The example of Paul’s life throughout the New Testament is this: Work as hard as you can and be content that God is in control of the results.”
3. Ok, so we have heavenly thoughts – being so preoccupied with heaven that we don’t worry about what the world considers significant but focus on what God considers significant. We have come to the awareness that we can be content and confident that God is in control of the results… but what happens when the results and the path are hard and painful?
That is a hard one for me. It is so easy for me to praise God and be confident in Him and His plan when life is going ok and I am happy and doing well. But then an unbearable pain comes, nothing seems fair, I feel like all I am doing is losing… how in the world God, can I not panic and fall into my common pattern of uncertainty and hopelessness?
And this was His answer to me through this book: You have to realize that it is not for nothing and find contentment in His promise. God does not waste anything and “if you understand that God is using the difficulties you face to perfect you, you’ll find peace.” Not only that but when you are faced with difficulties and see no out... when you cannot get out of bed because the fear and dread and hopelessness are debilitating you need to realize you are doubting the power of the God of the universe. You cannot ever find yourself in a situation that God cannot get you out of if He chooses… Literally no circumstance. Heck if God can shut the mouths of hungry lions, if God can part the Red Sea you really think that God can’t help you through PA school, through the loss of your job, through the brokenness of your relationship (@me every moment of life)? If you are in this situation God is walking you through it for a reason, and if you turn to Him, He will give you peace. And the key is to humbly accept whatever God brings as coming from His hand.
4. Ya, but my circumstance… there is no way I could have peace in this, that would not make sense (do you hear my attitude? cuz i do lol). Luckily God has an answer for this too (He’s pretty amazing that way – I swear every anxiety thought my mind throws at Him there is a comeback)
Philippians 4:7 “The peace of God, WHICH SURPASSES ALL COMPREHENSION, shall
guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (yup.. there it is.)
The lack of understanding and the presence of peace just makes it that much clearer that it is from God. But in order to have that peace, you have to trust our “sovereign, wise, good, and powerful God” to provide like He promised in the midst of every situation.
5. Now I get to end with my absolute favorite few verses in scripture:
Matthew 10: 29-31 “Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And yet not one of them falls to the ground apart from the will of your Father. Even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So do not be afraid, you are worth more than many sparrows.”
I feel like this is such a good summary. We do not need to worry about earthly things but can be confident in God’s providence for even the birds do not worry, and how much more does God care for us than they? We may not be able to control our circumstances, but our circumstances are in the hands of the one who knows how many hairs are on our head so why are we worrying about the results when someone that powerful and knowledgeable is in control? And even the falling of sparrows to the ground is according to the will of your Father… so do you not think your hardships have purpose and happen according to the will of the one who created you? And why can we trust Him to give us what we need no matter what and to provide peace when having peace makes no sense?
The book says it this way:
“Are you not much better than a bird? No bird was ever created in the image of God; no bird was ever designed to be a joint heir with Jesus Christ; no bird was ever prepared a place in heaven in the Father’s house. If God sustains the life of a bird, don’t you think He will take care of you? Life is a gift from God. If God gives you the greater gift of life itself, don’t you think He will give you the gift of sustaining that life? Of course He will, so don’t worry.”
I don’t write this because I figured it out. Since reading this book I have panicked and doubted, but now I know where to turn and that is something worth sharing. The glory and power of God is so worth sharing. And remember, it is a process. It will take falling down and getting back up, so be ready to offer yourself grace on your journey to freedom from worry… what matters is recognizing it as a problem, repenting, and then making space for God to come in and transform the brokenness into something beautiful!
Gods got this!
Comentários