It has been a few months since I cracked open my laptop to write a blog due to my pregnancy. I wanted to give myself some time to rest and take care of my body, listening to its cues despite their possible interruption of my previous lifestyle.
As I lay on my couch, allowing my eyes to slowly drift to a close it appeared as if I was doing nothing. Yet my inner world was awake and active, working toward the formation of the little one inside of me. And through an app on my phone, I could track my body’s progress –
This week baby is the size of a lemon and is developing genitals and kidneys.
This week baby is the size of an apple and is developing hearing and eyelashes.
Now baby is the size of a mango and is developing the vernix caseosa and adult teeth.
I just love reading those updates. It gives me a picture of my baby being formed in my womb. It makes me feel more connected to the little one, aware of the creation taking place.
Amazing.
However, as I read each notification, I just felt God bringing to mind the Psalms I spoke on last year, before I ever knew what it was like to be pregnant, and I felt Him gently being like “Do you see it now more clearly? Do you understand more deeply the words written?” And I do. Now, going through pregnancy myself the words God helped me understand then create a much richer, emotional, and intimate picture now. For the Psalms is no longer speaking about a little one, but the little one God is forming inside of me. So, though I might have shared these words before, I wanted to share them again now.
Psalms 139: 13-16
"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."
I know we are apt to think that a baby, through the culmination of cells that divide and develop, grows in the womb naturally, but David shows us in these verses that it is much more intimate than that. For knitting is neither mindless nor mundane, but intricate and complex. Before one stitch is thrown, there is a pattern and plan created with purpose. The materials are collected meticulously, the knitter pondering over each color chosen that will fulfill a specific need in the piece. Then, once settled, they will begin weaving a masterpiece from basic elements. Each stitch is full of intention, carefully placed line by line, as the creator works toward the end design. No thread is out of place. Slowly, the stitches take form and begin to take up space, the shape intentional and the size purposeful. There is no element present that was not intended.
This is how we ought to read this passage and from this we should understand that we are those being knitted, we are the beautiful, hand-crafted masterpieces of God.
See, God has always known you and loved you. He is the One who carefully and skillfully designed your essence – your body, mind, and spirit were not born together by accident. Each stitch of skin was sown intentionally, the colors that grace your eyes were chosen purposefully, and your sensitive, bold, bubbly, observant spirit was God’s design and creativity being brought to life. There is not a hair or freckle on your entire body that was not planned by God, is not known by God, and is not loved by God. And, as God’s works are quite wonderful, you can rest knowing that you are “fearfully and wonderfully made” [Psalm 139:14].
My child is fearfully and wonderfully made by God. And just as God our Father longs for us to understand the words written in the Psalms, to understand how intentionally we were made by someone who loves us, to understand that how we were created is on purpose, to understand we are a stunning work of art… I long for the child I have not met to know this far sooner than I ever did. And that small insight just helps me understand the heart of my Father so much more.
He is a God who delights in our being.
He is a God who is active in the lives of His children.
He is a God who acts with intention and purpose.
He is a God who creates.
He is a God who sustains.
He is a God who gives life.
He is a God who works in the unseen places.
He is a God who is with us from our creation.
He is a God who is ever-present.
He is a God who pursues.
He is a God who loves deeply.
He is a God who wants us to know who we are in Him.
So, my prayer, as we grow older and mature, is that we will come to know who we are in Christ and allow Him to redefine our identity from “child of wrath” to “child of God,” from “lost” to “found,” from “worthless” to “worthy.” Not because of who we are, but because of who He is.
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