Change
[v] make someone or something different; alter or modify.
[n] the act or instance of making or becoming different.
Last Friday my husband and I climbed into our loaded vehicles and made the 7.5-hour drive to our new home: Fredericksburg Virginia.
We drove through the flat roads of Ohio, cruised across bridges and boarders, winded through the mountains, and finally sat in bumper-to-bumper traffic before crossing the finish line to our home. Sunshine and warm weather greeting us as we exited the car.
And now, we have been here one full week. One full week of new roads. One full week of new scenery. One full week of me & him & Bodi.
On full week of change.
I would love to sit here and tell you that I handled it all with grace, patience, and pure joy.
But I am human. More than that I am a VERY organized human that loves her plans and
schedules. And for the longest time, my plan for life was to graduate PA school, marry an Ohio man not in the military, and work with my dad at Ohio State. But, fortunately for me, God’s plan prevailed instead: I am a PA-C who is currently unemployed dreaming God sized dreams, relocated to Virginia, and married to a Marine Corp Officer.
What is that verse again? Oh yeah… Proverbs 19:21 “Many are the plans in the mind of man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.”
Anyways… I was very prickly that week leading up to the move because there were no plans, no guarantees of what we were walking into, no knowns about what the future would hold. And rather than resting in the fact that God’s plan prevailed, and I was safe in His hands, I focused on my lack of control and found myself angry and emotional.
Even moving day started out with Alissa Hastings in a full-blown panic. I was ruled by fear.
But you know how God works – always stepping in with the right thing at the right time. This time what I needed to hear to refocus my chaotic heart was Jackie Hills Message on David and Goliath.
Maybe you remember the story from back in the day at Sunday school. Maybe you read it recently, but the way she broke it down humbled me and brought me back to reality.
1 Samuel 17 we find ourselves in the middle of a battle. The Philistine army occupying one hill and the Israelite army occupying the other. Between them is a valley and a champion of the Philistines named Goliath.
Now Goliath was given this name for a reason. He was a giant. The Bible says Goliath stood six cubits and a span [for all us modern people that is 9 feet 9 inches]. Not only was he tall, but his coat of armor weighed over 120lbs, his spear head weighed 15+ lbs, and he had his own shield bearer that went before him.
He was a beast, and he knew it. Each day he stood in the Valley and taunted Israel – and he did this every day for 40 days unopposed.
Until a shepherd boy appeared. He was the youngest of 8 sons and tended to his father’s sheep. And on one random day, this young boy steps onto the scene.
Goliath shouts his usual defiance and now we see 2 responses, 2 different perspectives:
1. vs 25 Israel: “Do you see how this man keeps coming out? He comes out to defy Israel.”
Here we see a focus on self. As Jackie put it – “If you isolate whatever you fear from the reality of God then what you fear should scare you.” The Israelites neglected God in their battle and were left with fear.
2. vs 26 David: “Who is this uncircumcised Philistine that he should defy the armies of the living God?”
Here we see a focus on God. There is no arrogance or thought of self. David recognizes that Israel is God’s chosen people. He knows that God is on his side, therefore why should he be afraid? If you focus on what you fear in the reality of God’s existence it puts that object in its rightful place: below God.
Anyways let’s continue in the story.
In verse 34 – I know I skipped a bit but it’s a long story – we see David before king Saul presenting his resume. In his years of sheparding the flock he had killed a lion and a bear “Oh My!” That’s pretty impressive… but the most impressive part comes in verse 36 and 37. Here, David compares Goliath to these beasts, and does not think, but knows he will conquer Goliath too. Not because of what David has done in the past, but because he knows his strength is found in the God of angel armies.
“David is not handing Saul his resume so Saul can trust in David only. David is giving Saul his resume so Saul can trust God to work through David. Because even though David’s name is at the top of the resume it has been God who has done all the work” – Jackie.
So, David is granted permission to go out and confront Goliath. And rather than taking Saul’s armor and weapons, he walks into the valley with a sling and a stone.
I can just imagine Israel’s army watching through their fingers and the Philistine army laughing at the joke playing out before them.
And yet despite the appearance and the doubt around him David never loses his confidence in God. Even when he reaches the valley, and the small looking Goliath now looms in front of him.
In verse 45 David speaks out against the Philistine, claiming victory in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of Israel who has been defied. And as the Philistine moves in to attack, David does not wait or hesitate in fear, but runs to meet him. And with one smooth stone, the Philistine is taken down.
And Israel won.
I have a Goliath before me and I am afraid. Through college, because of my health, I stayed near home. The military is hard to handle, and my husband will not often be around. I do not have friends in the area or any of my family. I have no job, and even if God opens that door, it is unfamiliar territory.
I feel that I have a 9-foot 9-inch giant in front of me that is waiting for me to mess up and fail.
And like Israel, I have let pride overwhelm me. I looked at my resume and forgot who was behind it all, I left God out of the equation.
As Jackie reminded me on that drive - “You are a human being. You are not strong enough to fight every battle. You are not smart enough to overcome every intellectual obstacle. You are not wise enough to always know what to do. And that is not to be condescending but is to highlight your humanity and how your fear brings to light your limitations. And that is often what God wants from us. To put us in a place of dependence … but you won’t become dependent on God unless he removes all of your crutches.”
And it hit me like a brick. Already, in March of 2023, I had forgotten all God had done for me and all the giants he conquered in the last 23 years of my life. I was taking back control, finding success in productivity, and relying on what was familiar for comfort.
So rightly I felt unprepared and unequipped to handle this giant - I did not have the right perspective.
I needed that to shift and slowly God and
I are working on yet another change, a perspective change. I may not have the power, strength, intellect, or wisdom to conquer the challenges ahead on my own, but I have never found victory on my own anyways.
It has always been found in God.
And while there is still fear, it is in perspective now. My fear of the Lord and submission to His ways is starting to outweigh my fear of the unknown.
I was reminded once again that I am not fighting Goliath with merely a sling and stone. I am fighting Goliath in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of hosts. The battle is the Lord’s, it always has been.
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