I’m just having one of those weeks where the weight of my past seems a bit heavier, everything seems barely out of reach, and I feel too weak to handle everything being thrown my way. With school finally getting into full swing it has just been so hard to balance school, rest, exercise, and extracurriculars. Luckily, God is amazing at showing up in our weakness and reminding us of His strength and power.
This week, Bible study triggered new thoughts of the powerful God we serve as we dove into John 1. Now, I don’t think I have ever truly paused to think about the extensive and unbelievable power of God until this week, and quite honestly the most thought I have given is probably in this moment. It is one of those attributes I know by heart but am not able to fully comprehend. Throughout the Bible there are stories of God’s displays of tremendous power as He gives David the strength to defeat a 9-foot philistine, calms churning waters and roaring winds with a word, and best of all defeats death and sin allowing us to reach Him directly in heaven. Sadly, at least in my world, these stories have been repeated so much that they have almost lost their “magic” as I never pause to realize what they show me about the power and strength of the God I serve.
I have to be honest though, thinking about God’s power, my favorite display is a new testament story of Christ defeating the devil and through His power allowing us to do the same with just the utterance of the name Jesus. His name holds more power than we could ever imagine and easily dissipates the darkness that so easily ensnares us and drags us down. The two verses that have become my anthem in the moments my world seems darkest are these:
James 4:7 – “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”
John 1:5 – “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”
These two verses were first introduced to me in middle school when I had a spell of night terrors that made it hard for me to sleep. My dad had me write them out and post them on my wall beside my bed to recite when I woke up in fear in the middle of the night. They worked amazingly well, and always filled me with a peace that allowed sleep to come easily, however, after the terrors passed, I forgot how much power the God of these words has.
Coming out of my freshman year of college, I thought I had faced the worst that life had to offer, but little did I know sophomore year would easily top that list. I grew a lot that year, but I also faced a lot of terrifying moments. Starting at winter break, I fell into a period of depression while simultaneously relapsing into old eating disorder behaviors I had previously thought to be gone. During this time period I pushed many of my friends away, barely had energy for school or running, woke up every-day crying, and often had thoughts of suicide. Not going into detail, the darkness was oppressive and stronger than anything I had previously faced. I don’t tell you this lightly, as I am very ashamed of this period of my life, and I don’t tell you this for sympathy either. I share this with you to show you how truly weak I was during this time period so that I can more easily show the strength of God. When I had no energy to complete schoolwork and went to bed with it unfinished, by God’s grace I managed to maintain my good grades. When I dragged myself out of bed to run only one mile, God gave me the energy to run six. When I didn’t want to be alive, God brought me sleep to rest. He looked out for me like I had never noticed before and honestly, he gave me the strength to survive. He is the reason I am alive.
Anyways, one night I broke. I had a massive panic attack and woke up later that evening more terrified than I had ever been in my life. The darkness seemed thicker and heavier than ever, the noise that often comes with my eating disorder was more obnoxious and deafening than before, and the battle to stay alive seemed to culminate in that moment. It was the most terrified I have ever been. Then, I remembered those two verses that my dad had me write on my wall when I was younger, and I began to recite them. This time, they seemed to work only slightly to calm my fear, but I felt too weak to fight any longer. All of a sudden, a thought popped into my head to simply call out the name of Jesus. So, I audibly cried out to God to remove the darkness that was still so prevalent and oppressive. At first nothing seemed to change, the fear still had a tight grip on my chest, but the more I proclaimed the name of Jesus the more I felt the grip faltering. While I was praying, I reached for my phone turned on my light and said Jesus’ name once more and all of a sudden the pressure lifted and I felt at peace… all it took was the name of Jesus to bring light into my darkest moment and release me from the depressing and oppressive power it brings.
This moment made me realize how powerful a God we truly serve that the mention of His name has the power to lift us out of the darkness and into his warm and comforting light. One word makes the Devil quiver, demons hide, and the darkness flee. 5 letters and everything on earth and under the earth bows to Him in acknowledgement of His unbelievable greatness. He is amazing. There is absolutely no darkness in your life that cannot be overcome with the strength and power of God that is available to us if we call out to Him and call out His name. He will shield you from attacks of the enemy, He will give you a supernatural peace, and He will help you enter into an abundant and full life.
Guys, there no way I would be here if God was not powerful, if God was not here with me at every moment of every day. He is the sole reason I am alive, the reason I am able to write these words to you, the reason I can share with you my giants and weaknesses and encourage you to call out to Jesus in the moments your giants seem too big and the darkness too heavy. Remember, God is a God of miracles whom healed the sick, walked on water, stopped the sun, and flooded the earth. He is the God who made stone walls crumble at the sound of trumpets, dead men rise, and the apostles speak in tongues. He is the God who closed the mouths of lions, stopped three men from burning in a furnace, and defeated the temptations of the devil. He is the God who makes the demons tremble, protects His followers, and breathes life into our lungs. He is the God whose light eliminates even the darkest of darknesses. He is all powerful and He is with you. You never need to fear the giants in front of you because the God behind you will give you the strength to defeat them with a word. You don’t have to rely on your strength to make it through, just cry out to Jesus, speak His name and trust that He will rescue you. He will give you the strength to find light and be light in a dark and broken world. He is an unbelievable God and we are unbelievably lucky that He loves, chooses, and works in us.
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